Rule the First: vox_diabolica is benevolent dictator and God-king. The Edict of Saint the_new_lemon: 'I consider one of the World's greatest evils to be snide self-satisfaction combined with a supremely ignorant and truculent bigotry toward things (or ideas, or people) of which one disapproves.
I do my part to combat this evil by leaving comments on LJ.' [Source] In an effort to combat common misunderstandings, Minister of Security and Grand General i_am_lane wishes us to convey to you that yes Virginia, naturalism, physicalism, eliminative materialism, utilitarianism, foundationalism, non-defeasible coherentisms, capitalism, libertarianism, modern liberalism, rationalism, empiricism, and all varieties of existentialism are corrupting the youth of the world, and he will continue to engage in propaganda campaigns to bring all to the light of German Idealism. Any who resist their re-education will be sent to death camps and forced to work at translating Hegel into language simple enough to be understandable by even barely evolved protosentient sea creatures.
Sources within the Secret Theists' Revolutionary Kremlin have identified rogue elements and counterrevolutionaries as incapable of distinguishing between fascist extermination camps and Stalinist gulags. Regrettably, it seems, history is as dangerous a subject to the contras as is philosophy. The pace of reeducation shall be increased. vox_diabolica would like it known that he is, indeed, an atheist - but a better class of atheist. This community mocks the lower orders. The Cognoscenti
Appeals are handled through a voting system where a decision is overturned through simple majority only if the number of votes is also a Fibonacci number or if the vote is being held on a date which is translated into a prime number when placed in Excel.
Also, this just in: no puppies allowed. triphicus and sydwig are the community mascots. Testimonials
Never fear! You are welcome to make complaints about this community here.
Are you guys all secretly theists trying to establish a New World Order by supporting Palestinians in their bid to sell humanity to the reptilian overlords of Alpha Centauri?
Do you guys have a vendetta against [insert LJ member's name here]?
Yes. Even if we've never heard of them, we have a vendetta against them.
Who are you to judge me?! I went to [insert university here] back in the 1970s and I studied computer science! That means that I am always correct!
We are your father. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Why do you know so much?
When we were very young, our brood-mothers came to our birthing creches and told us of the great learning of the humanoid ape-creatures of Earth. We voyaged long across the cold dark of the interstellar void to study these teachings. Using our superior reptilian minds, we have "read" many of your "books" and "understood" many of the "ideas" contained therein. We realize these esoteric concepts are strange to you, weaned as you were on the inferior electronic milk of Wikipedia and google, but hark. Soon our people shall arrive and restructure your palsied mammalian DNA into a proper quadruple helix structure.
Aren't you a little pretentious?
No. You're just stupid.
That's not very nice.
On our world, niceness is a sign of weakness and allows a superior predator the right to devour your flesh and claim your eggs.
You're kind of weird.
I'm... I'm honestly uncomfortable.
We get that a lot. We'll call you a cab. Sorry the date didn't work out better.
That's OK, really. I had a nice time.
Us too. Communities Dedicated To Atheist Fail Imitation (or large amounts of time dedicated to irrational hatred) is the sincerest form of flattery! Here's a list of LiveJournal communities dedicated to atheist_fail:
The Master, leader of the New Galatic Empire of Gallifrey, decided to give us a nice planet he owned but didn't have much use for. It was a small thing, tucked away in a rather cozy section of the Milky Way. After a rather boring journey mostly spent playing mancala and go fish, we landed on this strange world. All the settling parties were in conflict about what should become of our planet, so from it came the Disputed Territories. After a bloody war between us, Atheist Fail declared independence from the empire and began anew as a planet-encompassing supernation on July 5th, 2009. All glory be to Atheist Fail! NEVER FORGIVE AND NEVER FORGET!
Upon hearing this declaration, rosicrucian decided to stay up for three days designing the most serene republic a flag representing the people. It's not perfect, but after losing four fingers to rabid space hyenas and three more in a horrfic sewing accident, her abilities are a bit limited.
Select humans of the highest quality were soon loaded into cramped spaceships by the thousands and dumped onto Atheist Fail as settlers. Now with millions of new citizens the planet and nation prospered. Here are some statistics:
Economy: Don't Listen to the News! It's Great! Political Freedom: Great! Civil Rights: Gay Marriages for All!* (* If Gay Marriage Is Not For You, We Offer Free Brain Surgery as an Alternative!) Income Tax Rate: 100% National Animal: The Birdman Crime: We Believe Strongly in the "Hands Off" Penalty for First Time Offenders. It Works Great!
Long life, Atheist Fail! Official Atheist Fail Holidays
February 14th: International Day of Mourning for the Dear Leader, vox_diabolica May 18th: Convert Me Liberation Day June 2nd: 2nd Atheist Fail Independence Day June 15th: 3rd Atheist Fail Independence Day July: Holocaust Awareness Month July 5th: 1st Atheist Fail Independence Day October 9th: Leif Erikson (MPBUH) Day December 24th: Fuck Everyone, I'm Going To Play Yahtzee Day
Bea Arthur (MPBUH) is our patron goddess. Do her no disrespect.